It’s that time of year again..holidays, family gatherings and every highly anxious person’s worst nightmare….Black Friday.
Needless to say, I will not be out and about, scouring the stores for amazing discounts. I will be home, shopping online should my finances allow me to.
A joyous time of the year for most, yet a confusing and lonely time for many. Amidst all the fantastic deals, early bird specials, those of us grappling with high anxiety cringe at the thought of the crowds, noise and standing in crowded lines for extended periods of time.
As we become closer to the end of 2019, while a tough and trying year, I have to remind myself of the strides I have made. Let us not lose sight of the true meaning of these holidays rapidly approaching.
My greatest gifts haven’t come wrapped in a bow. This is the first year that I’ve stopped living in denial and have come to terms and accepted my battle is a constant. It is part of me, more than I’d like it to be, but the goal now is finding ways to work through my days. Understanding my limitations and not being embarrassed to express them to those who may not understand. Being available and acting as a resource when I find others in need and dealing with similar situations.
Yes, I will be wrapping some gifts for the little ones and regardless of how I’m feeling, I will make sure they enjoy the holidays as children should. I will also reiterate to them what’s most important and our greatest gift.
Our families, no matter how big or how small. I will take the extra time to let my loved ones know how appreciated they are and how thankful I am for each and every one of them. And rather focus on the “ no can do’s”, my focus will be on what I can do.
While this year, there will be one less person sitting at the table, and truth is, I don’t know if I’ll be as strong as I intend to. I am not alone though and not the only one hurting.
As we start to close out 2019, I am so grateful for the progress made this year. I’m even more grateful for the greatest gift, a loving family.
That is what’s most important and what the holidays mean to me. And rather than dwell on the things that limit me, I plan to relish in what I can do, love and support my loved ones as they have for me.